需要一則簡短的英文笑話！

　　At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, “A son of mine on the stage? It’s a disgrace!” he wailed. “What if the neighbors find out?”
　　
　　“I’ll change my name,” the comic-to-be volunteered.
　　
　　“Change your name!” his father screamed. “What if you’re a success? How will the neighbors know it’s my son?”
　　
　　埃迪十六歲了，他決定離開家去參加一個劇團，他的爸爸氣壞了。
　　“讓我的兒子上舞臺演戲？真丟臉！”他大叫道，“鄰居們知道了會怎麼想？！”
　　“我會改一個名字。”這位未來的滑稽演員主動提出。
　　“改名字！”他爸爸喊叫著，“那如果你出了名怎麼辦？怎麼讓鄰居知道你就是我兒子呢？”

這裡就有了:
www.nfldproducts.com/jokes/
http://www.humor.com/html/j_a/joke_database.html
http://www.justlaugh.net/joke_db/index.php

The Wishing Well（許願池）

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny.
His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.

The guy says, "Wow, it really works."


有一對夫婦來到一個許願池旁，老公傾身許了個願，並且丟了一枚硬幣進去。
他的老婆也決定來許個願，但是她在傾身時一時失了重心，於是掉到井�淹死了。
她老公見狀後驚呼：「哇！真的很靈驗耶！」

神秘的德州事件

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. ''WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?'' he yelled.
No one answered.
''ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA' BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!''
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, ''Say partner, before you go. . .what happened in Texas?''
The cowboy turned back and said, ''I had to walk home.''

<翻譯>

有一天，有一個牛仔騎了匹馬進一個小鎮，他在一個酒吧停了下來打算喝點東西。不過很不幸滴，這個小鎮的人有一個傳統，就是「對陌生人惡作劇」。所以，當牛仔喝完些東西後，他發現他的馬被偷了。他速速衝回酒吧�，將他的手槍向天空拋出，接出後再對空鳴了一槍，他大吼：「速誰偷了我的馬！！！」

此時，大家都不敢答話…。

「好吧，我會再喝一杯啤酒，如果我酒喝完後馬還沒回來的話，我就會讓我在德州的事件重演一遍！！我並不希望讓那「德州事件」再上演一遍！！」

話說完，酒吧中有一些人趕緊落跑了。當牛仔喝完啤酒後，他走出酒吧，發現他的馬已經回來了。於是牛仔替他的馬上了鞍，打算離開這個小鎮。

此時，酒保緩緩地走出酒吧，他開口問道：「這位大俠，不好意思冒昧地問一下，您在德州到底做了什麼事呀？」

牛仔轉向他說：「喔，是這樣地，我在德州曾經走路回家過…」

The Chinese Workman

A building contractor hires an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Chinaman. He gathers them all in his office and tells each of them their jobs. The Englishman to shovel a pile of sand. The Irishman has to take the sand in the wheelbarrow to the truck. The Chinaman is in charge of supplies.
The boss comes back two hours later and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea. ''So have you done the work then?'' he asks.
The workers both shake their heads and tell him that the Chinaman didn't give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow. The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinaman, they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck. So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck the Chinaman jumps out from behind a wall and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

<翻譯>

有一個建築商雇用了一個英國人、愛爾蘭人和一個中國人。有一天，他把這三個人叫進辦公室，並交待每個人應負責的工作。其中英國人負責將鏟沙子，而愛爾蘭人負責將沙子用手推車運到卡車那邊。中國人則是負責後勤補給（Supplies） 。

兩個小時過後那位老闆回來了，他發現英國人和愛爾蘭人在喝茶打屁。所以他問說：「想必你們工作都做完了吧…？」英國人和愛爾蘭人搖了搖頭，告訴老闆說：「沒有呀，那個中國佬沒有給我們鏟子和手推車呀…」老闆聽了粉生氣，就問他們說：「那中國人去那�了？」他們回答說：「中國人好像往卡車那邊走了。」

所以老闆走向卡車那打算找那名中國人，結果當他靠近卡車時，那名中國人突然從牆後面跳出來，向他大叫「Supplies！！！」

（註：中國人以為他負責給大家：「Surprise」…哇咧

Lack of Vision

70-year-old George went for his annual physical . He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, \"But you know Doc, I\'m blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee , and turns it off when I\'m done!\"
A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George\'s wife and said, \"Your husband\'s test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night.\"

Thelma exclaimed, \"That old fool! He\'s been peeing in the refrigerator again!\"

<翻譯>

有一天，七十歲的喬治前往醫院做年度健康檢查。他告訴醫生說他基本上身體還不錯，不過晚上常常跑廁所。他又說：「不過醫生你知道嗎？其實我有被上帝保佑喔。神知道我眼睛看不到東西，所以每當我尿尿的時候呀，他都會幫我開燈，然後等我尿完後他又會把燈關上。」

後來呢，醫生把喬治的老婆找來，並跟她說：「你老伴的健檢報告大致OK，不過有一件事我一直想不太通…，你老公說呢，每次他去廁所的時候神都會幫他開燈和關燈…」

喬治老婆回答說：「哎喲那個死老頭，他又在冰箱�尿尿了！！」

Before performing a baptism , the priest approached the young father and said solemnly , "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually ?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

<翻譯>

有一個剛當爸爸的男子打算接受基督教的受洗儀式，受洗之前，神父走向他並跟他說：「受洗呢，是一個很嚴肅的儀式。你已經準備好了嗎？」

年輕爸爸說：「有啊有啊，我老婆已經準備了一些點心，而且我們有請專人來幫我們張羅許多餅乾、蛋糕等來宴請所有的客人！」

「咳咳，我不是指這些…」神父接著說：「我是指…精•神•層•面上的準備。」

「哈哈，當然當然！」年輕爸爸回答：「我已經準備了一桶的啤酒和一箱的威士忌！」

An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he gets up, a seven year old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, "If you put a little rubber thing on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."

The old man snaps back: "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today."

<翻譯>

有一個老頭某天上了一班擁擠的公車，結果都沒有人願意讓坐。後來當公車劇烈顛簸時，他的柺杖不小心滑了一下，讓他摔了一個大跤。當他從地上爬起來時，在他旁邊的坐位上有個七歲的小孩開口了：「嘿。老伯…。如果你在那根棍棍的頂端裝一個橡皮的話，你就不會滑了呀。」
那個老頭很生氣的罵回去：「啍！如果你老爸七年前也這麼做的話，我今天就有個位子坐了！！」

哇~~真的覺得我們FG上的朋友們真的好熱心,謝謝你們幫我這麼大的忙,真的很想說"有你們真好!"