幫幫我吧,about 英文文章

最近要投稿了
可是英文不好的我
讀還ok,寫就真的考倒我了
老師又是日本人,沒法幫我修改,哪位好心人
願意幫我看看哪裡要改的, thank you~~^^
ps. 文法沒錯,句子通順就好了
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The Information manufacture industry is different from the traditional manufacture industry. Such as the life cycle time of product is shorter, the market changing is faster, and the price is more sensitively than traditional manufacture industry. As those differences, the leading role of the transaction about information manufacture industry has also changed from organization to consumers. Therefore, The ability of Quick Response(QR) is important for the information manufacture industry. But in order to satisfying the market requirement, the complicated process can hardly be satisfied by a single enterprise. Hence, the share of information and cooperation between partners of the supply chain become the key factor for improving the ability of Quick Response.
  • 續....
    These days, XML had been presented to the public. The form of data used in the past can be described again by XML. Besides, XML allows users to set the tags at user's own will. It gives us a cheaper and more convenient way to solve the problem in data exchange.


    The study construct a information system architecture of Quick Response base on XML to satisfy the requirements of The Information manufacture industry and integrate member’s valuable information in supply chain system and improve their management effectiveness by the viewpoint of the cooperation of the whole supply chain. According to this architecture, a system model has been created by object-oriented system analysis method. Based on this model, an order processing system has been developed in this study. This system demonstrated that the proposed architecture’s feasibility.
  • "As those difference..."
    你想表達的是"因為(當)有這些差異,...."嗎?
    如果是,可以用
    "Because of those (differences),the...."

    個人淺見,請參考^^
  • 真是非常謝謝大家的寶貴的意見啦
    今天我再改的時後也覺得because of those
    比較順耶~^^
    感謝感謝喔~
  • I have a few suggestions, hope those can help you
    1. "The Information manufacture industry is different from the traditional manufacture industry. Such as the life cycle time of product is shorter, the market changing is faster, and the price is more sensitively than traditional manufacture industry"
    ===> "The differences between information and traditional manufacture industries are that the life cycle of product is shorter, the market changing is faster, and the price is more sensitive...."

    2. better to use "However" instead of "But", which is more informal

    3."The study construct a information system architecture of Quick Response base on XML to satisfy ..."
    ===> do you mean "The study of construction of information system architecture of QR ..."
    or "The study constructs a information system architecture of QR based on"
    ===> 這句話不知道主詞在哪, 而且太長了
    it's better to have short and clean sentences

    4. "This system demonstrated that the proposed architecture’s feasibility. "
    ==> "This system demonstrats a feasibility of the proposed architecture. "

  • To English,
    我覺得我從你的評語也上了一課, 太好了...
  • Hi! 非遜男﹐一點小意見。。。

    Information manufacture industry is different from traditional manufacture industry. Such as the life cycle time of product is shorter, the rate at which market change is also faster, and the price is more sensitive as well. Together with these differences, the leading role of the transaction about information manufacture industry has also changed from that of the organization to the consumers. Therefore, The ability of Quick Response(QR) is important for the information manufacture industry. But in order to satisfy the market requirement, the complicated process can hardly be satisfied by a single enterprise. Hence, the share of information and cooperation between partners of the supply chain become the key factor to improving the ability of Quick Response

    hope this helps...
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